The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
