Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
