It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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