i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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