i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
