I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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