Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
