Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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