Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, beer. Big fan.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
