Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Boobs speak an international language.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
