Jerry, you need to find god
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
