On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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