I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
