He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
