i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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