you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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