"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
