He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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