So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
