I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
