Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
