I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
