my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
