i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
