Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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