I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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