that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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