She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
