about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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