i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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