Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
