Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
