In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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