it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
