Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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