cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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