PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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