: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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