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• (607): View more from New York

  I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.

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• (087): View more from

  HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud

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