like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
