ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
