so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
