I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
