I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize