I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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