haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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