no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
