Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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