He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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