no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
